The Widow’s Comeback:
A Memoir

The Widow’s Comeback Book Club Guide: Reader Discussion Questions

A Note to the Book Club Host

Pour something bubbly. Put out something chocolate. Use the good glasses.

Then relax.

You don’t need to get through every question, and you definitely don’t need to have all the answers. Pick the questions that make your group want to talk, laugh, remember, and maybe tell a story or two of their own.

Although The Widow’s Comeback begins with the death of my husband, Eric, you don’t have to be a widow to find yourself in these pages—or in these questions.

Loss comes in many forms. So does starting over.

Maybe you’ve lost someone you love. Maybe you’ve lost a relationship, a job, a dream, a version of your family, or simply the life you thought you were going to have. Or maybe you’re here because you read a book about a woman whose life went spectacularly off-script and you have some things you’d like to discuss!

All are welcome at this table.

There’s no need for anyone to share more than she wants to share. Talk about the book. Talk about your own life. Pass on a question. Laugh when something is funny. Let the hard things be hard.

This book is about loss, but it’s also about life. So gather your people and enjoy the conversation.

Because life should be celebrated—even the messy parts.

A Few Ideas for the Table

• Very cold champagne and sparkling cider—because, again, life should be celebrated!

• If you’re serving coffee instead, have plenty of cream and sugar. Talking about hard things may require fortification.

• Brownies and chocolate chip cookies are always a good idea. And yes, a premade roll of cookie dough absolutely counts. Sprinkle a little flaky salt on top right after they come out of the oven. Trust me.

• Or serve something fancy. Or something simple. This isn’t about impressing anyone. It’s about gathering around a table, sharing something delicious, and being together.

And use the good glasses. This is exactly what you’ve been saving them for.

Discussion Questions for The Widow’s Comeback

You don’t have to answer every question. Choose the ones that interest your group and see where the conversation takes you.

1. What moment in Lisa’s story stayed with you the most after you finished the book? Why?

2. Early in the book, Lisa says, “I don’t know who I am without Eric.” How did you see her identity change over the course of the story? Have you ever experienced a loss or major life change that made you wonder who you were now?

3. Lisa often uses humor in the middle of painful situations. Was there a moment that made you laugh when you didn’t expect to? What role do you think humor can play during difficult seasons?

4. Lisa makes some decidedly messy choices along the way. Which of her choices did you understand—even if you wouldn’t have made the same choice yourself? Which ones made you want to talk back to the book?

5. Lisa calls some of the things she suddenly has to handle alone “widow things.” Which of those moments stood out to you? Have you ever had a loss or life change that required you to learn something you never expected to have to do?

6. Friendship and community repeatedly become part of Lisa’s safety net. Who showed up particularly well for her? What does her story suggest about what people experiencing loss actually need from the people around them?

7. Lisa’s relationship with God changes throughout the book. Where did you see anger, doubt, trust, or faith evolving? Have loss or difficult seasons affected the way you think about faith?

8. Dating becomes part of Lisa’s story, but it also becomes part of her search for herself. What do you think she was actually looking for during those chapters? Did what she wanted change as the book progressed?

9. Lisa eventually realizes she has been changing herself to become what the men she dates might want—the “build your own burger” realization. What did you think of that moment? Have you ever caught yourself becoming what someone else wanted instead of asking what you wanted?

10. The apple trees become a symbol of the family Lisa had with Eric and the life that continues afterward. What did the orchard mean to you by the end of the book? Are there places, objects, traditions, or rituals that have helped you hold on to something important while still moving forward?

11. What does a “comeback” mean by the end of this memoir? Is it returning to who you were before something happened—or can a comeback mean becoming someone new?

12. The book ends not with “The End,” but “The Beginning.” What do you think Lisa is beginning? What might a beginning look like in your own life right now?

One Last Question

Before everyone heads home, go around the table and, if you’d like, finish this sentence:

My comeback right now looks like __________________________.

It doesn’t have to be monumental.

It might be making a decision you’ve been avoiding. Taking a trip. Going somewhere alone. Saying yes. Saying no. Laughing again. Trying something new. Asking for help. Trusting yourself. Or simply getting up tomorrow and trying again.

There is no timetable for a comeback. And there is no single way to have one.

Use the good glasses. Life is worth celebrating.