Hi Friend,
Don't forget to plan for the hard days in February! I feel the biggest success in dealing with the hard times is to plan. Making yourself aware of facing the hard days will make them more manageable. Even if, when the day comes you chicken out and end up crying on your bedroom floor.
What’s in your February? Valentine’s Day, of course. But what else? Get your calendar out and mark the days.
I put off opening February because January always takes my breath away. And not in a good way. Right after the holidays, I go into the month of birthdays–-Katie’s, mine, and then Eric’s.
But for me, February is blessedly light and easy in comparison.
What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Maybe it wasn’t a big date for you and your person? Or maybe it was. Here are some ideas:
Ask one of your kids to include you in plans if they are not at a super romantic time in their lives.
Plan a Galentine’s Day event with one or a few friends. I did that last year. I hosted twelve women for wine tasting and dinner. I was lost in the planning details a bit BUT it was a terrifically fun night. I remember looking around the table and not feeling so sorry for myself for not having a husband. One friend’s husband is a raging alcoholic, one is very mean, and one is divorced. We all have things we are dealing with and dealing together as friends is special.
BroBeers. If you are a guy, grab a couple of friends and have beers. On Valentine’s Day or a little before or after. You don’t even have to tell them why! “Yo! Dude, let’s have a beer.” (My best dude imitation.)
If you are new to being a widow and all that sounds like too much, get a favorite bottle of wine or chocolates and choose your favorite romcom to watch. If I were going to do that, I would watch Sleepless in Seattle (Eric’s favorite), When Harry Met Sally (my favorite), or a new favorite Your Place or Mine. Then I would make buttery garlic salted popcorn and open a bottle of Scarletto.
Go buy yourself the most ridiculously huge bouquet of the most beautiful flowers you can find. Smile at them all week.
Whatever you choose to do is just fine. The important thing is that you are choosing your destiny. You are being proactive. That is how you heal.
You are going to be ok.
Please write me and tell me what you are planning. Show me a picture of your calendar if you want. I would love to hear from you and I answer all my emails. lisa@thewidowscomeback.com.
Or comment on my Facebook page. I posted a picture of the outfit I am wearing for the Valentine’s Day singles mixer I was invited to. Tell me if you think it is too fancy for Chicken N Pickle (a pickleball venue with a restaurant and bar). LOL! I know it is, but I just can’t help myself.
I wish you peace and a smile or two,
With Love,
Lisa