How to find a best friend in a new town

I have a new BFF in Kansas! I have coffee with her every morning. We connect on so many levels, she shares my tastes, gives me advice and fills my emotional bucket. I didn’t know it would happen this fast.

Psychology Today has a great article, 10 Ways to Be a Best Friend and it’s like my BFF memorized it. In the ten days I’ve been in Kansas, I’ve asked myself “What is a true best friend?” and “Do I have a best friend?” Yes, yes I do! I actually met her our second day here. She is the spitting image of my California BFF.

She always has a hot coffee waiting, treats to fit my current dietary desires, and any size jeans I fit in that day. She welcomes me with my kids or without, and when I leave her I have so much dopamine in my system I can spread the love tenfold.

My BFF even holds everything for me.

Now that I’ve officially moved out of the apartment and into the house, I tried the Target closer to Stilwell so I only had to drive 3.9 miles instead of 7.6.

I really need fewer miles on the highway right now because there are a lot of big farmers in big trucks in a big hurry. I mean no one has flipped me off, because that action would fall outside of “mid-western nice” but I feel like such a moving target in my Claudia Schiffer hat and hairdo and my Porsche 911 with the California plates. It’s almost like they think I’m ridiculous, squinting at my phone, following the map for basic straight shot for two exits!

I was a little nervous about my new Target, especially since there was no Starbucks logo on the outside.

Don’t people in Kansas need coffee when they shop?

Does she have stocking hats? I need 30 more.

Does she have Universal Thread mid-rise jeans?

What about Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate with the little marshmallows?

Since our house had not been lived in since its remodel and I deposited years of accumulation in the dumpster outside our SoCal house, I’m finding that each day I have to fill my cart with little things like toilet paper dispensers, towels, soap dishes, AAA batteries, ketchup and wastebaskets. It’s so fun!

Stilwell is on the edge of farmland so I wonder if they sell pitchforks and overalls? Eric corrected me when I read him this. They are not pitchforks, they are called hayforks. But that brings about a whole new set of questions.

I parked the Porsche took a deep breath and went in to see my BFF, in a new location.

Ah… yes!!! A Starbucks! Now that I’m fortified and because a Venti Pike totally relaxes me, I’m ready to spend some money!!! And she’s laid out just like my favorite Target in SoCal.

One of the things about a best friend is that you might not have seen her for two hours, two days or two weeks, but you just pick up right back where you left off.

Another thing about BFFs, they push you and introduce you to new things. Hmmmm, a product I’ve never seen. I stood for a few minutes, my mind wandering over possibilities, technologies… suddenly my smart comments about pitchforks and hayforks seem a little more relevant. I’m now feeling a little mysterious, tingling, and nervous. What are these...? Oh... shovels. For snow. This new invention will make my life easier, but I”m not sure how. Oh, look, it comes in kid sizes too!

BFF’s are not afraid to have the hard talks either. After ten days and about 14 visits, I thought it was time. Deep breath,

“Ahem, Target. I am so glad we are friends. You know I’m loyal to you, I love your beauty, especially on the inside.”

A little tear left my duct. As it rolled down my face I gained my nerve. “I’m wondering, though, why you’ve changed? Remember in SoCal on the way to the register when I’d grab a bunch of bananas or a gallon of milk you’d have an end cap of Rose or Pinot? Well, I can’t find that here in Kansas. Why? Are you changing? I don’t like it. Could you please do this favor for me again next time?”

And she didn’t answer. But later Eric explained that in Kansas, one can only buy wine in state licensed liquor stores.

Oh no, I hope she doesn't feel threatened... thinking I'll replace her with a liquor store.

I'llcheck in with her tomorrow. And I know she will be waiting, without the wine, but with all the things that make me happy.

My best friend, Target.