A Worksheet for Widows Learning to Make Decisions with Confidence
- 5 hours ago
- 4 min read
Build Your Personal Board of Directors
Widowhood changes more than our marital status. It changes how we make decisions.
When we're married, we often have someone to think through life with. We bounce ideas off each other, weigh options together, and share the responsibility of difficult choices just naturally, over dinner.
After the death of a spouse, that sounding board is suddenly gone.
Over the past several years, I've learned that while no one can replace my husband, God has faithfully surrounded me with people who each bring wisdom in different areas of my life. I call them my Personal Board of Directors.
A Personal Board of Directors is simply a small group of trusted people you can turn to for wisdom, perspective, encouragement, prayer, and practical advice. One person may know finances. Another may understand home repairs. Someone else may simply know how to listen.
Together, they become part of the safety net God lovingly weaves around us.
You don't build your Board of Directors overnight. You build it one relationship at a time.
This worksheet is designed to help you begin recognizing the people who are already around your table and perhaps notice a few empty chairs God may one day fill.
The Mental Load of Widowhood
Before we think about who belongs on our Board of Directors, let's recognize why we need one.
Which of these decisions have been weighing on your mind lately?
☐ Home repairs
☐ Finances or budgeting
☐ Insurance
☐ Medical decisions
☐ Estate or legal matters
☐ Vehicle repairs
☐ Parenting or grandchildren
☐ Church decisions
☐ Work or career
☐ Moving or downsizing
☐ Relationships
☐ Future planning
☐ Other
Which one feels the heaviest right now?
Decisions I've Already Made Well
Widowhood has a way of convincing us we aren't good decision-makers anymore.
But that's rarely true.
List five decisions you've made since the death of your spouse that turned out better than you expected. They don't have to be perfect.
They simply need to remind you that God has been faithfully guiding you all along.
As you read your list, what do you notice about yourself?
Who Is Already Around My Table?
Think about the people God has already placed in your life. Write down anyone who comes to mind.
Financial Wisdom
Home Repairs or Practical Help
Medical Questions
Faith and Spiritual Encouragement
Parenting or Family
Career or Business
Legal or Estate Matters
Someone Who Simply Listens Well
Other Trusted People
Where Are the Empty Chairs?
Every widow's Board of Directors looks different. Maybe you already have someone in each area. Maybe there are places where you still feel very alone. That's okay.
Where do you wish you had someone to help you think through life? Pray for that.
Who might God already be bringing into your life?
Asking for Help Is an Act of Courage
Sometimes the hardest step isn't making the decision. It's asking for help.
Complete these sentences.
The person I've been hesitant to call is:
I've hesitated because:
☐ I don't want to bother them.
☐ I don't want to seem needy.
☐ I'm afraid they'll say no.
☐ I don't know exactly what I need.
☐ Pride.
☐ Other
One small step I can take this week is:
A Prayer for Wisdom
Father,
Thank You for never leaving me to carry widowhood alone.
Thank You for the people You have already placed in my life and for the ones You are still bringing.
Give me the humility to ask for help, the wisdom to seek good counsel, and the confidence to trust that You are guiding my steps.
Help me remember that while no one can replace my husband, You are faithfully providing what I need for this season.
Amen.
One Final Thought
You don't need one person to replace your husband.
You simply need a few trusted people who can each help carry a small part of the weight.
That's how community begins. That's how a safety net is woven. That's how we slowly discover we don't have to figure widowhood out alone. And that we are still loved.
Love you, widow friends. ❤️
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About Lisa Woolery
After unexpectedly losing her husband, Eric, in 2019, Lisa Woolery discovered that while there were many resources about grief, very few addressed the everyday realities of rebuilding life as a widow. Through The Widow's Comeback, she encourages widows with practical wisdom, biblical hope, and the reminder that although life has changed forever, it is not over.
Lisa is the award-winning author of The Widow's Comeback, a speaker, and the creator of resources that have encouraged thousands of widows around the world. She lives in the Kansas City area with her two children and writes to help widows find hope, courage, and purpose—one ordinary day at a time.
Widowhood can feel incredibly lonely, but you don't have to walk this road by yourself. Thousands of widows gather each day on The Widow's Comeback Facebook page to talk honestly about the emotions of widowhood—the invisible work, the unexpected tears, the victories that no one else notices, and the hope that comes from knowing you're understood by women who have walked this road too.
Join Lisa's monthly newsletter for encouragement, practical resources, and exclusive content created just for widows. As a welcome gift, you'll receive her free guide, Seven Tips for Surviving the Loss of Your Husband.
